Summer is over. For most, Labor Day marks the end of summer. For me, I can't help but put on the breaks. I can't seem to comprehend the concept that summer is over. Another beach and boating season has passed, my white and neon clothing is retired, all my favorite dreams of summer concerts and summer nights have to be pushed to the back of my mind for the next 8 months. Don't get me wrong, I love the fall and the Christmas season, but nothing makes me as happy as summer feels. In an effort to really shove summer's end in my face, the forecast for the week lands right around high's in the 60's with rain (...lots of rain), for 5 straight days. Five days a week I work in an office with no windows, and I live in an apartment with one small window. This girl needs a little sunshine in her life!!!!!!
I have a ten and thirteen mile race looming over me. With four and eight weeks, respectively, to go until I hit the pavement for race day, this girl has no motivation to run. Lift weights? Sure. Walks during lunch? Sounds great. Run? I'd rather clean toilets. Bring on the clothes that are fitting a bit snugger than they used to, the lack of desire to spruce up the wardrobe, and the planner filled with happy hours, dinner with girlfriends, babysitting, and don't forget to squeeze a night to catch up on tivo!
Time management. I know I am not the only one who feels twenty-four hours in one day is never enough to get everything done. When I formulate my daily task list, all items seem possible. But when it comes time for execution, I am lucky if only half are accomplished. I end up with a list titled "In a Perfect World" and "Reality", and it always makes me realize that my priorities are probably a bit out of whack. Such as ... Am I the only one who loses her voice if she doesn't get at least 7 hours of sleep? 6.5 hours and I sound as though I have a strong case of laryngitis coming on. 7 hours and I still feel like I got hit over the head by the boogie man and my baseball bat (oh yeah buddy! I have a bat next to my bed these days! Don't even think about giving this girl a rude awakening because she may swing just for fun!) This leaves with me needing at least 8 hours of sleep to feel like the human in which I have been identified. If my "In a Perfect World" list is attempted first thing in the morning, that would mean I need to wake up at 5:30a.m. to get some breakfast, and head to the gym for a 6a.m. workout. Rewind 8 hours and I am in bed the night before at .... (gulp)... 9:30p.m. That time in my evening is usually reserved for wrapping up my dinners, running errands (why do I have so many errands?), or an event that is probably way more entertaining and exciting than going to bed at that time instead. Where do I find a happy medium (oh no, not again. Kristen talking about her "happy medium"....)?? How can I possibly work 5 days a week / 8 hours a day, workout 5-6 days a week, be a good daughter, sister, friend, and citizen of the community, be a good Christian (which really should be my first priority if I had my priorities in line), make three healthy meals a day, keep a lil blog alive, and get to bed on time... all while not feeling overly stressed and as if life is moving too fast? Some people can master it. I on the other hand, str-ug-gle.
I wish I had more time to explore my interests. I love to travel, but don't do it enough. I love cookbooks, yet find every excuse to not actually cook. I love my camera, yet have not taken the time to learn how it to use it. I love blogging, yet procrastinate on updating my own for fear of being judged or never being creative enough. I love volunteering but find it easy to cut out when life gets busy. I want to get crafty, but have not found the guts to take the first step. I want to read more books and watch more movies, but find other things to take its place. And the list goes on...Whats my problemo?
With all of these things that I can't seem to fit in the day, one must wonder where and how I actually spend my time? That is the thing. I have time management issues I think.
I just can't seem to master it.
Which is why I feel like my entire life is off kilter.
Which is why I am forever thankful to be constantly reminded how bad I need God in my life. I can't do it without Him. I have to surrender it all to Him. I have to lift my worries and concerns up to Him. I have to have complete faith and trust these feelings are still part of His plan for my life. I have to be certain that He will teach and guide me through these rough patches that seem so unclear. He is my provider, and with all of my trust, He will get me through this. I certainly cannot create the perfect plan which paints the picture I am seeking. I have to remember His plan will always turn out way better than my own.
I am fully aware that I probably put too much pressure on myself (and fail miserably), but I am thankful I am able to continually challenge and reevaluate the girl in the mirror.
Thank goodness there is always tomorrow, and my family and friends are forever giving of these days in my life.
Take my life and let it be, all for You and for Your glory! Take my life and let it be Yours.
Rant. Over. Geesh.
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